With the holidays quickly approaching, I've been super busy with boring, but "got-to-be-done" mundane chores. Which leaves me with nothing really to blog about in the way of projects. So, I decided to open up and share a daily struggle of mine. Some of you may be dealing with the same ...weight!
I've struggled with my weight for years now. I can't recall a Monday morning in the last 15 years, that hasn't begun as the, "Start of my diet day!" On some Mondays I've actually made it until lunchtime. However, after yet another failed attempt, the cycle continued and I vowed to start again, each week, the following Monday.
So what triggers my weight issues? Many women blame it - and rightfully so - on having children. But being that I suffered from morning sickness for 9 months with both of mine ...not an issue for me. And I certainly can't blame it on genetics, another common factor. My dad is 67, normal weight, eats anything and everything he desires -often enough for several grown men at one meal. His metabolism, which I did not inherit, is astonishing. And my mom and brother are both small. I often joke, that I received the combined fat genes for all four of us!
I finally determined I was a "stress eater." Nerves have fueled many a hunger pangs for me. And my willpower was lacking to overcome.
Weeks ago, I reached a breaking point, and two things brought me to that moment.
First, several dear childhood friends of mine have lost loved ones recently. I felt strongly compelled to reach out to them during their time of loss. But griping fear of what they might think of me, most of whom I hadn't seen in 25 years, was too great to overcome. When Kevin and I married, I was a tiny little thing. I'm not a terribly vain person and do realize that most people age and gain a little weight over the years. Yet, I was imprisoned by the thoughts of someone judging me harshly for the extra weight. So, in my shame, I sent very personal cards and letters to my friends expressing my sympathy; ...feeling very guilty that I had not done so in person.
Secondly, a couple of weekends ago, I traveled to Raleigh to spend it with Ashley. Her dorm is on the third floor, and the terrain of her college campus very hilly. After trekking after her and up to her room for 2 days, I seriously thought I might die! I didn't want to embarrass her, so I tried with all my might to keep up with her, my breathing even, and my heart from protruding through my shirt from the severe pounding. Feelings of being winded terrified me. What a wake-up call!
I knew the time for change was dire! If for no other reason ...my health! I ran across the 21 Day Challenge Online, by Lysa Terkeurst.
Off on a tangent... I'm co-chairing a Women's Conference Committee at our church, which will be hosting Lysa as our guest speaker in January. As I was gathering pictures and biographical information on her, I found the Challenge.
Terkeurst is the author of Made To Crave, which I have not yet read. I assume the Online Challenge is a mini version of the book.
Back to my story ...
Fifteen days ago, I signed up for the 21 Day Challenge Online, receiving one short devotion through email, daily. The first 4-5 days, I prayed and read ...and nothing sunk it ...the words just glazed over me. Did not help one bit! Still I ate -- no willpower, still gaining weight -- still very discouraged! But I continued to read.
The daily devotions were short and interesting. Lysa is a very witty writer. My attention was captured if nothing else. I also continued to pray. And then, a transformation of my spirit emerged. Willpower erupted from my inner being --- and a week and half later, I am 8 1/2 pounds lighter!!! And it really hasn't been that difficult. I'm not hungry, but feeling satisfied and full with much less on my plate. I have many pounds to go on this journey, but I know that I can do it now! I feel ...very accomplished.
The following verses have been an inspiration as well...
When I'm feeling discouraged and unworthy .... "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:14 (NIV)For hope to overcome ... "For you, O Lord, are my hope, ..." -Psalm 71:5
And for strength ... "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." -Phil 4:13 (NIV)
If you are still with me...still reading this post, please know that it was not easy to open up and discuss my insecurities. I'm a private person where my feelings are concerned! I'd much rather be sharing a new project, thrifting find, or decorations ---that is "safe" for me. But, if this post is encouraging to at least one other lady, then it was well worth my stepping out of my comfort zone to open up. I'll be hitting that "Publish Post," button with great reluctance.
If you would like to read more about the 21 Day Challenge, go to Lysa's Web Site for more information. I also have her blog listed on my sidebar. These devotions have been such an encouragement to me, that I am saving them in my emails, and intend on rereading them daily when I reach day 21.