A month since my last post...
How quickly time passes!
Life here has been busy, some of it in an unexpected way.
About a month ago,
was when on a Monday morning I received a phone call that rocked my world to the core. Forgive me for not divulging the specifics. I don't want to violate the privacy of those involved. I've not asked permission to share this, especially in a public forum.
So in a vague sort of way, here goes....
Kevin and I had been praying for a couple in my family going through a rough circumstance. This couple is very dear to me, and my heart was breaking for all those involved. There were times, that those prayers were uttered while face down on the church altar. I know that we can pray anywhere, anytime, and God hears us, but for me, there is nothing like bringing your cares to the altar, and leaving them there for Him.
The situation had escalated to a point until it seemed there was little hope it would work out. And still we had faith, and continued to pray. Then THE CALL came. Kevin was there when I answered. As I hung up the phone, my words were, "I prayed so hard, and this is the answer...it just keeps getting worse." For a split second, I wondered if God had heard any of my prayers. If He wasn't going to come through this time. It is humbling now, to admit to my thoughts and words. Ashamed that I let my faith weaken, that I doubted God, didn't trust his handling of the situation. I've seen Him work many times, witnessed His hand in small ways and big ways in my life. How could this have been my reaction???
I quickly dressed and went to my family. The hour drive seemed much longer, and along the way, I prayed yet again, "God, this is so much bigger than I can deal with, that I know how to deal with. You take it. With everything I have in me, I give it to you. Guide every word I say, or better yet, let me remain silent, except for the things you would have me say." I realized that of the many times I prayed before, I sincerely thought I had given it totally over to Him, trusted Him to take care of it. But in reality, I was still thinking of ways I could "fix" the situation, or least help. I even thought of ways God could fix the situation. Why did I think God needed my help or suggestions???
Before noon that very day, I began to see things turn around. I witnessed relationships being restored, and bonds being strengthened. I saw a family I dearly love, headed to become another dismal statistic, come together in unity. I was a part of some of those relationships, and am so blessed by the restoration! Through a terribly horrific incident, so much good has come from it. My prayers continue to be with this family. I'm certain they still have many things to work through, as we all do. But I am so thankful for the point in which they have come over the last month.
"Before the Morning," written by Josh Wilson is an awesome song that relates to my situation. I just love this song! The opening chorus begins, ...."Do you wonder why you have to feel the things that hurt you? If there's a God who loves you, where is He now? Or maybe there are things you can't see and all those things are happening to bring a better ending." ...I didn't understand why we had to go through what we did, the pain of it particularly. But God loves us, and is faithful, even when we are not. He hears our prayers. His answers may not be our answers, our solutions, but He knows the "ending in sight," and what it will take to get us there.
I hope you will take a few moments to listen to the song, posted below. And if you would like to know the background behind the song, visit Josh Wilson's site, http://www.beforethemorning.net/. He wrote the song for two dear friends, and their story is amazing, to say the least!
"I have told you these things, so that you can have peace because of me. In this world you will have trouble. But cheer up! I have won the battle over the world." John 16:33
"...we trust God with our eternity, ...trust Him with our now." ~Paula Beal